Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
