how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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