I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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