I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
