Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
