But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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