Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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