now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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