Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
