Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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