so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
