I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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