Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
