best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
