Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
