her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
