Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
