i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
