hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
