I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
