Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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