He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
