Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The ass gains better be worth it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
