It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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