She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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