He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
