I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
