So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
