I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize