He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
