Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
