she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
