the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
we should paint friendship bongs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
