look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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