She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
