it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
