and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
