Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I believe in your delicious
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
