they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
