Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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