either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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