Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
