Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
