i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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