his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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