new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
