Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
