oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
