I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
