I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize