I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
