I'm drive I can fine osifer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
