I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
