Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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