Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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