Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
