The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
