Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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