before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize