Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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