I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
