DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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