He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Green mimosas i think yes
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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