i permit you to call me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
