the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
